APPOINTMENTS

I have many medical things wrong with me and spend lots of time going to doctors. When I came out to my family and friends as being non-binary I thought that would be enough. I figured that getting them to use my name as a pronoun would be enough to make me feel comfortable in my own skin, but it wasn’t. I would go out in public and get ”have a good day ma’am” or ”have a good day sir”. Each time I heard this the hair on the back of my neck would go up. I knew I couldn’t correct these perfect strangers. That would come in time as people became more aware of language that is more inclusive of all. However, there were places that I went to on a regular basis that I could try to get people to use my pronoun. Those places were the doctor‘s offices that I went to on a regular basis.

I started out telling my primary care physician that I saw every 3 month. She really didn’t understand and looked at me like a was an alien. I kinda had a feeling this would go this way, but I could tried.

The next appointment I had was with my gynecologist, I had high hopes here. She was a younger doctor and did everything to make Jennifer and I feel welcome as a married couple. I will never forget when I told her. She asked questions, asked if there was anything she could do to make me feel more comfortable when I came to the office. I said, “could you tell the nurses to use my pronoun”. Her answer was yes of course. The next time I went to the doctor this happened and it has happened on a regular basis since I have gone to this office. When they use the wrong pronoun they even correct themselves.

The next two doctors I had to tell are part of the same hospital network. When I went to see the first doctor in the group the person at the front desk handed me the form I have to fill out every year with my information. This form is updated every year. When I came to the part where you have to mark your gender there was an option to make transgender. This was the first time that options was on the form. However, If you remember my blog from last week I really wasn’t sure I fit into the term transgender. The other options of course were female and male, I was absolutely sure I didn‘t fit in those boxes. I looked at the transgender box, I contipating checking that box. After a few minutes I went up to the front desk and explained to the receptionist I was non-binary and asked if it was ok for me to check transgender. She said, ”yes of course”. I figured this would open the door for me to have the doctors and nurses at both doctor to ask why the change in gender. Which would give me the opportunity to explain and get them to use my pronouns. This didn’t happen, but that also falls on me, because I didn’t do a good job of explaining to them my wished. I still am not sure why I didn‘t do so. I feel like it had to do with my primary care physician or it could have been disappointment. The disappointment was I didn‘t even know if they noticed the change.

As I write this I am thinking to myself, “Meredith you need to be a better advocate for your wishes”. So for all of you that are non-binary and feel there are places in your life that you might be able to make yourselves be more comfortable go for it. You never know what to expect. You might not get what you expect, you could get a yes and that will be another place you can feel comfortable.