The only way that people will get used to using the right pronouns for people that don‘t use she/her/hers or he/him/his is if non-binary people become more visible. In an earlier blog I talked how non-binary don’t walk around all the time with t-shirts telling people what their pronouns are.. However, there are things that have been happening in the entertainment industry to give non-binary people more visibility. Since this is happening it is showing people that not everyone in the world uses she or he for their pronouns.
I will never forget when Ellen’s character on the tv show “Ellen” came out as gay. I know this was huge for tv and all LGBTQ+ people in the world. It provided a platform and showed that gay people were a normal part of life. Other shows started to appear awhile after those. To name a few, “Will and Grace”, “Friends”, “Spin City”, ”Sex in the City”, ect.
When I finally was able to put my gender into words, I can’t recall ever seeing a non-binary person on tv. However, I will never forget the day when my mother in law recorded a show that she felt I would enjoy. The show was “The Deputy“. There was a character by the name of Bishop who was non-binary that hadn’t told anyone. They had a break though moment where they and their girlfriend had gotten into an argument because of their gender identity. They were driving down the road the next day. They pulled their car over and called their boss and he came to the area where Bishop was. I will never forget the words they used. They said. “I am not she/her/hers, am they/them/theirs”. After Bishop said these word what their boss said next was even better. His response was, “OK, but you are still Bishop.“ The next day when Bishop when to work, the response that was received by their coworkers was even better. One of their coworkers told them they would try their best to do the right thing. Said they might make mistakes bit don’t be afraid to correct them.
Since then I have seen non-binary characters on ”Station 19”. A transgender teenager struggling with his parent over hormones on “The Resident”. Another transgender firefighter on “911 Houston”. I have started watching ”Star Trek: Discovery”, because when I googled show with non-binary characters that was a show that came up. I still haven’t seen the character say they are non-binary or noticed people using non-binary pronouns.
It took along time before gay people became a norm on regular tv. I have a feeling it won’t take as long for non-binary and transgender people to start showing up on tv on a regular basis, because I have started seeing them pop up on shows that I am just watching on an average day. Since this has started happen people are going to become more aware that we exist. My hope is that is will help some, with people being more aware of language.
Thanks for the heads-up on where nonbinary and transgender characters are appearing. I shared this with family members and asked if they had additional shows to suggest. I'm sure this doesn't just reflect culture, it helps to shape it as you said. I appreciate that "The Deputy" also showed allies who know they won't be perfect and need to learn, but want to. Hopefully that's a model for viewers when they meet or learn of a nonbinary or transgender person in their lives.