A few months after my Facebook post Jennifer and I took a trip to the Carolinas to visit family and friends. I decided I would tell them all in person, so I could explain myself better than a Facebook post.
Nichole, my younger sister, was the first person we saw. We always stop and see her and her family first, because they lived in North Carolina. North Carolina is on the way to South Carolina where my parents and older sister’s family live. . We stop in Charlotte spend the night and go to Holy Covenant United Church of Christ on Sunday. This was our UCC Church when we lived in Charlotte, NC.
Nichole and us have always gotten along and she is probably the most understanding of anyone in my family. When I told her, her response was, “you be you and do what makes you happy.” However, I don’t know if she truly understood how important this was to me. I don’t think she understood how it finally made me feel comfortable in my own skin. I’m not sure if she could see the way it gave me more confidence.
I live over 14 hours away from my family so I knew that they wouldn’t be around on a regular basis hearing others use my proper/perferred pronouns. Therefore, I knew that to expect them to do this would be out of the question. It is going on 3 years and it hasn’t happened yet. I wish I could figure out how to make it so, but that is asking a lot. I only see them once a year. All I can do is hope that one day they will understand and hope that they will give it their best effort.
Dee's sister has been the best family support for her. You're very understanding of your family -- but I hope at least some of them are making a real effort o use your pronoun when they talk about you or when you are around. The best way to get good at that is to practice it all the time... (just saying).