I wanna start out by saying sorry you didn’t get a publication last week. I happened to be dog sitting for some friends. I was in a state park and didn’t have access to any internet. I hope this is worth the wait.
Also with it be National Coming Out Day tomorrow this is a fitting story because it’s like coming out again to my parents. Even though I had already done that on Facebook.
The next stop on our journey home was my parents. This was my biggest fear. It took me getting married to Jenn before that accepted me being gay. I didn’t know how they would feel about this. I had no doubt that they would love me no matter what. They have always made that clear. I also knew that they would have difficulty understanding, because they live in a rural area of South Carolina and there isn’t a lot of LGBTQ+ awareness there. There isn’t PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) to help them process stuff.
When I told them my mom looked at me kinda confused. Just like she did when I told her I was gay. My first thought was, is she blaming herself like she did when I told her I was gay. She didn’t say anything, so I know she wasn’t blaming herself. Maybe she just didn’t get it, because of the lack of knowledge.
The funny thing was, the next morning when I went into the living room, my dad would tell me I needed to talk to a family friend‘s child. Me and my dad always had talks in the morning when I go to visit, because we are always the first people up. But this was the last thing I expected him to talk to me that morning, Most of the time. We end up arguing over politics. My dad was really concerned about this child. I think it could be because they reminded him of me. He felt they were confused and needed help understanding their gender identity. He knew that their grandparents and mom were not helping the situation.
Jenn and I talked about things on our way home and realized that most of the time when my dad talked about me he used Meredith. He has always done that. I never noticed it until Jenn pointed it out to me. My mom is still having difficulty using the right pronoun. I know that sooner or later she will come around just like she has with the fact that I am gay.
I feel that if we lived closer and if they had better access to a support group for parents of transgender or LGBTQ people this would be a lot easier for the process. I definitely suggest that if you have access to a group like this in your area and are trying to process the fact that your child is transgender, you should go.
What a great response from your dad! And excellent advice -- families and friends can contact PFLAG to find a community to help processing not just what transgender is, but one's own feelings and how a relationship is (or isn't) impacted when one party speaks an old truth but new to the hearer.