I normally don’t have trouble writing or posting a blog each week. However, with what has happened in my life and the USA this last couple weeks I was struggling getting started. I had 3 different blogs I started, but couldn’t get them going. So with the advice of my wife she said just take a step back and write about what has been going on with you instead of what you normally write about.
I had a dear friend jump the planet last Saturday because of Covid-19. She was like a second mom to my wife. She accepted me for who I was when I moved to Illinois in 2011. When I told her about my gender identity, she was confused but she was in her late 70’s so that is understandable. She never wavered in the support and love she showed me. I will truly miss her.
My other reason for struggling with writing was because of the presidential election. As y’all know, from my blogs about my journey home, I’m from the southeast. One of the states that had a majority for Trump. My parents still voted for him, for all I know, but I’m not asking. That is their choice and right. But the reason I struggled is because I was worried what would happen if Trump was re-elected. Questions kept running through my mind. What would it mean for people like me, who‘s gender identity is different than what they were assigned at birth? Would things get harder than they are already? Would I be safe wearing my t-shirt that reads “Ask me my pronouns” or the new non-binary shirt my wife just gave me for my birthday? I know these are crazy things to think but I just was truly afraid.
Once I sat down to write this blog, I realized that the grief and fear I was feeling was what was causing writers block. Thanks Jennifer for giving me this idea of just stepping back from writing about my journey and other non-binary topics and write this. I’m sorry to you as readers if you were expecting something else.
So that being said, please wear your mask, wash your hands, and stay socially distanced, but engaged. Also, it feels good to have some of those fears gone and make me wanna keep engaging with this blog.
Whew -- we're all feeling it. It's actually good to listen to someone else's experience of anxiety and working through it; I think it helps any reader to get in touch with their own feelings of these times (regardless of political views), be able to tell their own story (even if just to themselves) and begin to not be stuck in a dim place with "crazy" thoughts.
Looking forward to more of your binary journey again in the future.